S.H.I.E.L.D. Database | Strike Team Delta: Operation Report ‘New York’
imagine tony’s face when he finds out senator stern was a member of hydra oh my god
"i fuckin knew something was up with that douchenozzle but no one ever fucking LISTENS TO ME"
GOD I’M LAUGHING
Just holy shit. Clint and Natasha recording their pranking escapades with/against Bucky. Bucky just randomly appearing in the background of everyone’s Vines and becoming an unwilling participant. Snapchat too. Natasha or Clint taking a snapchat of the “fearsome Winter Soldier” sprawled on the couch with Steve, fast asleep. Steve taking a snap of Bucky, Clint and Natasha, with Lucky flopped on top of them, all cuddled up after an exhausting assignment. Tony being, well, Tony and catching Bucky under like five million blankets and giving it a caption with something like “i’m thinking he’s more of a summer soldier tbh” but good luck sending it because Bucky would be up and after him in like two seconds flat.
And Sam recording a Vine of him finally getting revenge on Steve and Bucky with a high-speed flyby, shouting “ON YOUR LEFT!” before knocking them both into the reflecting pool and flying out of there before either can get a hold of him.
Natasha and Clint were the ones who’d gotten the ball rolling down a steadily steeper hill.
They were always in with the kids of the generation, keeping their eyes on (and fingers in) social media platforms that held the potential for information to be leaked indadvertedly, and sometimes even participated in spurring things along. So when Steve caught sight of Clint sharing a photo of Bucky, who’d passed out with the archer’s dog sprawled over his chest and a half-eaten box of pizza on the coffee table, captioned ‘Pizza Dog Squared’ to Natasha, the application Snapchat started to spread between the Avengers and their trusted few like wildfire.
Snapchat was followed with Vine. Short videos of the world’s very own super-heroes were published on the internet by the heroes themselves, showing they were just as human as everyone else: from pranks, to excitement over animals, and even fan-catered videos thanking people for their support. The more popular ones tended to be their own internal antics, though.
"On your LEFT!" Carolled the voice of Sam Wilson through the phone microphone, barely audible over the rush of wind and the purr of the specialised engines for the restored project FALCON wing-pack, but loud enough that when combined with Steve and Bucky’s mortified and surprised faces made it an internet sensation overnight.
Revenge from those two later came in the form of a screenshot from Snapchat, leaked by Clint deliberately and with as much popularity and infamy as the Vine, of Sam asleep on what had been his bed — now a mattress left atop the roof of the Avengers Tower complete with at least 10 pillows worth of feathers dumped atop him. Clint totally didn’t help Bucky and Steve move it up there.
Totally didn’t at all.
'Nap time for baby bird.'
(Clint high-fived Bucky and Steve as they bolted down the emergency stairs, Sam yelling loudly behind them about bloody murder.)
Not all of their antics would become internet memes though; for the most part their Snapchats stayed private between each other, and though most were hilarious, some were more sombre and even humanising given the lives they lead as these now ‘heroic icons’ people saw them as.
Natasha had saved screenshots on her phone of snaps sent by Steve during a boys fun night that’d happened while she was out of town, wherein there were shots of Bucky and Clint yelling at the TV as they played video games together, Bruce quietly smiling where he was sitting as he watched the antics with a sense of relief for the inclusion without awkwardness, and Tony practically taking bets with Sam over who’d win.
Clint sent Bucky photos of Steve, lost to his own world with pencil in hand as he idly sketched the slumbering shape of Lucky nesting at the foot of the couch. Of amazing food that had to be tried or at the very least kitbashed in a very masculine way that would involve some destruction of a kitchen at three in the morning. Sometimes even just silly snaps of Lucky, one eye gleaming bright and tongue lolling out as he panted away happily — ‘Pizza Dog 1 misses Pizza Dog 2’ and ‘Daily dose of overgrown puppy’ read the captions.
Steve often sent Sam photos of the things he was checking out as he caught up more on the years he’d lost to the ice, thanking him for the suggestions and promising to buy him a drink next time they have a chance to head out for lunch. Natasha sent photos of toy dinosaurs if she ever came across them in a store or shop window. ‘Found some of your friends from the Cretaceous.’
Tony thought them cruel. Steve secretly liked them all and often sent back shots of inanimate objects captioned with ‘found your new identity, getting sneakier!’
Because after all they all gave as good as they got. For some on the team they only had the chance to live once, so they made the most of it and joked around about serious shit because it took the edge off.
Ultimately it made for a better team, a better family.
give me liberty, or give me butts
ღ Clint Barton // Hawkeye
I mean, I can’t miss. …I’m on a team with super-humans. And one god, in case you’ve forgotten. Even you…well, you climb walls really well. …I gave up a lot for this life. I could have been happy with Mockingbir— Bobbi. We could have had a good, simple life. But I wanted to play with the big boys. And if I miss, it means I’m just another dude with a bow. It means I’ve been fooling myself this whole time. And that’s why I never miss.
We should talk about this real quick because I think a lot of people use this as a basis for the ‘technologically-challenged Steve Rogers’ stereotype. If you listen to his tone and watch his exasperated gesture, he’s being sarcastic. He knows that’s not the information Tony needed, he knows it’s more complicated than that, but fuck if he has any idea what the hell is going with this thing. And you know what? I wouldn’t either. I grew up with modern technology, and I have no idea what all those wires and circuit boards mean. It’s not that Steve can’t use technology (he had no problem with that tablet on the jet with Coulson), it’s that this technology is just far too advanced for someone who hasn’t been trained to use it. And then Tony responds ‘Well, you’re not wrong’. It isn’t condescending or annoyed. If anything, Tony kind of realizes how useless it was to expect someone who wasn’t an engineer to understand this thing. Every time Tony talks about things that cause Steve to just stare at him blankly, it’s because Tony uses technical terms that no one in the room understands except for Bruce Banner. You know, the other science genius.
So long story short; Steve Rogers is completely capable of adapting to modern tech. It’s just that Tony Stark is so far beyond the average person’s league of technology that pretty much nobody is able to understand him.